Archive | Science/Nature

Ear Hair

Wisconsin Man Finds New Cure For Baldness – Ear Hair!

Dr. William Bernstein, a plastic surgeon from Kenosha, Wisconsin, is now booked nearly 8 months in advance. His specialty is removing a man’s ears and surgically implanting them on the top of their head. While the casual observer may find this procedure absurd, 100% of the patients are ecstatic with the results… Wisconsin Man Finds […]

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Strange Human

10,000 Chiropractors Assemble In Coliseum For Rare Mass Apology

In an unprecedented move rarely ever seen in the medical industry, over 10,000 chiropractors assembled recently at Veterans Memorial Coliseum in Portland, OR, to give a mass apology. Led by Dr. Gary Dalrymple of Naperville, IL, and Dr. A.J. Palmer of Austin, TX, there have been smaller gatherings of chiropractors at various locations throughout the […]

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french parliament

French Parliament Makes Push To Decimalise Time

At the behest of the French Parliament, The International Science Union (ISU) is strongly considering the option to decimalise time. A year will have 10 months in it, days will have 10 hours and each hour will have 100 minutes. The French have decimalised everything else, and because they know the Americans and the Angloholes […]

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Dr. Fukumoto and his team

Anal Lubricants Used For Prostate Exams Found To Cause Prostate Cancer

“We’ve been searching through the wrong holes” said Dr. Masaki Fukumoto, “we needed to look deeper into the holes of the anal lubricants tubes.” Fukumoto and his team of researchers in Dallas, TX, recently found the link between the chemicals found in anal lubricants and prostate cancer. For decades, doctors have been coating millions of […]

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Cryogenic Daycare Facility Opens A Can Of Frozen Worms

A controversial daycare facility in San Mateo, CA, is creating some confusion and intense debate regarding child development. Children’s Cry Space, the first daycare center to implement short-term cryogenic freezing, started out incredibly popular for busy parents who did not want to miss out on any precious moments of their kid’s life. The “concept daycare […]

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Archaeologist Discovers Ginormous Dinosaur Boner

It was a hot afternoon near a warm river in Louisiana last month, and Archaeologist Mildred Sweat was almost ready to call it quits for the day when something caught her eye across the riverbank. At first she thought it could be a discarded kitchen tile, since Twin Shrimp Valley is the discarded kitchen tile […]

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