Author Archive | Ewoth Behemoth

Cafe Diem

Cafe Diem

1. A pseudo-Latin phrase that translates to “caffeinate the day” or fill your day with coffee without concern for the future. “The Starbucks barista was concerned for his well-being one morning when he unlocked the front doors 20 minutes late. The surly crowd of nearly 300 people were chanting “cafe diem“, and there was an old […]

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Clockblock

Clockblock

clock•block 1. The result of getting approached by your boss or co-worker at the end of the work day, where you get forced to complete a new assignment that causes you to stay late. “Why are you in such a horrendous mood tonite?” “I was on my way out the door at work today a […]

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Multiple Greetings Syndrome

Multiple Greetings Syndrome (MGS)

1. A neurological disorder, most commonly found in the workplace, where a person feels the urge to say “hello” multiple times in the same day. “Hey Chuck, why do you think Bryce said “hello” to me four separate times at work today?” “I think he’s trying to figure out which gender finds him more attractive. […]

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Entremaneur

Entremaneur

en•tre•ma•neur 1. An entrepreneur that tries to sell a product or service of no greater value than a pile of horse manure. “Hey dad, can I borrow some money? I came across this 21 year old “Life Coach” online, and he promised he would show me how to make $5000/month working as an Internet Marketer. I […]

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Nonfluencer

Nonfluencer

non•flu•en•cer 1. A social media “influencer” that provides no trackable value to the brands they claim to promote. 2. A wannabe social media marketer that grossly overestimates their influence. “After 2 years of swindling online business owners, Tyler was outed as a nonfluencer. He finally threw in the towel and went back to his old […]

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Electile Dysfunction

Electile Dysfunction

1. The inability to become impressed or aroused by any of the candidates for President during an election year. “Even though it was an intense debate between the candidates this past year, George sat limp with electile dysfunction as controversy appeared to trump the truly important issues of the country.” Electile Dysfunction was last modified: […]

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Borschtelicious

Borschtelicious

borsch•te•li•cious 1. An uncontrollable exclamation caused by eating foods that look disgusting but taste amazing. 2. The pleasing sense of taste or smell from foods that look disgusting. “Babe, I know you slaved over this smorgasbord, but it looks absolutely horrendous. I’m only going to try one bite…wait, OMG…Borschtelicious!!!” Original Digiprove Copyright  (via Ewoth.com) Borschtelicious was […]

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Impected

Impected

im•pect•ed 1. To become both impacted and infected. “After years of poor diet and vigorous wiping after bowel movements, Barney’s colon became impected. He searched WebMD for the cure, but was redirected by various banner ads and bought an irrelevant jar of anal lube.”   Impected was last modified: November 11th, 2016 by Ewoth Behemoth

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