Archaeologist Discovers Ginormous Dinosaur Boner

Dinosaur Boner

(Sweat makes history with a prehistoric boner)

It was a hot afternoon near a warm river in Louisiana last month, and Archaeologist Mildred Sweat was almost ready to call it quits for the day when something caught her eye across the riverbank. At first she thought it could be a discarded kitchen tile, since Twin Shrimp Valley is the discarded kitchen tile capital of the world. But after wading across the river and doing a bit of digging, Sweat realized she’d made a HUGE discovery. It was the fossilized remains of a Tyrannosaurus Rex’s giant erection, a bonerfide dinosaur boner. She swooned and fell face-first into the river.

“After I came to and shook myself dry,” said Sweat, “I realized this may answer the question about why female T-Rexes were so much bigger than males. Otherwise, they’d never be able to handle a phallus of such, well, such length and girth.”

Sweat’s Dinosaur Boner – A Huge Find

Word spread fast of Sweat’s unusual fossil and she has since been fielding offers from several popular museums, including the Museum of Natural History and the Sex Museum. Both are located in New York City, and both have longed for a dinosaur boner for years. They have offered vast sums of money and a lifetime supply of kudocream.

Sweat says she expects the Tyrannosaurus Rex to enjoy a popular revival as a result of her discovery. “I can see the T-Rex becoming a symbol of virility. They should put big phalluses on those little plastic dinosaurs that boys love to play with. It will give them a sense of anatomy, physiology, and pride in their own genitals.”

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